Student Artwork by Davis!

The trout of Henry’s Fork are widely respected as some of the smartest eaters around. They have learned to detect the smallest difference between an artificial fly with a hook in it and a tasty meal. Fly fishing aficianados refer to these particular trout as “fish with PhD’s.” Catching even a small one of these geniuses is a real feather in the cap of any serious fisherman…

So there I was, standing in the current for hours, casting fly after fly at these fish with no takers. The water was clear, and I could watch fish feeding all around me, I could even see the insects they were eating. Even when I tied on a fly that matched the pattern of their bug feast exactly, they would still watch my mock insect float by. Extremely frustrating or extremely challenging depending on how you look at it.

Since I had hours to spend casting and not catching fish, I thought about my children and just how smart they are.

Every Saturday I do a run to the dump with all of our trash. Every Saturday I try to get one of my kids to go with me. I love the one-on-one time with them. Last week it was my oldest son’s turn. My first “cast” was to try and ask excitedly, “Hey, you want to go on a ride with me?”

“No thanks, Dad.” He said this without even looking up from his book.

My next cast… “It would be some great male-bonding time,” I suggested.

“Nah, that’s okay,” and still no look.

“There might be a surprise…” This cast was expertly swung to appeal to his love of ice cream. This one almost always works.

“How about later today, Dad?” And once more, not even a glance up at me.

“Riley, I want to spend some time with you. It’s important to me,” I stated simply and sincerely.

He looked right into my eyes, saw that I really meant it, put his bookmark in place, and without reservation said, “Okay, Dad. Let’s go.”

It turns out that my kids have been watching me for years. My oldest proved to me, again, that what he really wants is a father who will meet him on a genuine, honest level. He wanted the “real thing.” We had a great time riding to and from the dump, and I realized he has a PhD in me!

The people who we are close to in our lives – our families and co-workers , have “PhD’s”, too. They know when we are “fishing around.” The challenge is to stop casting disingenuous invitations to connect, and realize that only a real and true invitation will be met with enthusiasm.

Cherokee Creek Boys School is a therapeutic boarding school for middle-school boys, ages 11-15, located in Upstate South Carolina.

Shaler Black Cooper, our Fire Keepers Circle Coordinator, proves it's never too late to say, "Thank you."

It wasn’t until recently that I realized how much impact my time with Sally had on my life.

In 1996 I was a high school freshman who had just left the comfort of an 8th grade class of 28 and entered into the massive hallways of the public high school where I was one of close to 1,000 other freshman. And if that change wasn’t enough – my family was in crisis. My brother had just left for a therapeutic boarding school in Idaho and we were trying to establish our new “norm” with a missing family piece.

That’s where Sally comes into the picture. Sally was a delightful, kind and gentle counselor. My parents strongly encouraged (aka made me) meet with her on a regular basis during my freshman and sophomore years of high school. I wasn’t all that enthusiastic about going to see a counselor. This painfully shy girl thought it was easier to fly under the radar, as I had been doing for so many years, than it would be to talk to a stranger about my feelings. But nope! The family needed a tune up, both as a family unit as well as each individual member, and that’s what we got!

Sally listened, talked and coached me through my anger, guilt, sadness, confusion, tears, triumphs, joys and successes.

Fast forward to August of 2010; during the August Cherokee Creek Family Seminar I helped to facilitate a “Siblings of Cherokee Creek Students” group discussion. During this discussion, many parents and siblings asked what was most helpful for me during the time my brother was away at school. Time after time I thought of sitting in Sally’s office in one of the white wicker chairs. This was a time of enlightening “ah-ha moments” and of blossoming self-confidence. I remember being allowed to be angry and cry and not feel like those emotions would place any blame or judgment on another family member. It was my safe place where I could say anything.

I had no idea if she would even remember me after 15 years, but I decided it was time to look her up, thank her and tell her about the positive impact she had om my life. So that’s exactly what I did. And she definitely remembered me. Afterwards, I received a lovely message from Sally thanking me for reaching out to her…and that it was a gift to hear that our time together had changed mt life.

I was grateful to find her and I learned it is never too late to say, “Thank you. You made a difference.” As Thanksgiving approaches, it is a wonderful time to refelct on the gratitude we feel for the many people who have touched our life.

Who has made a difference in your life? Have you told them? Are you living in a way that will make a difference to someone else?

Cherokee Creek Boys School is a therapeutic boarding school for middle-school boys, ages 11-15, in Upstate South Carolina.

Sandy Morris, LPN reminds us to treat ourselves to a good belly-laugh, tee-hee or guffaw.

Laughter has been a part of my life ever since I can remember. It is who I am. When I think of my childhood, the funniest memories revolve around growing up with 6 siblings. It is at family gatherings that we share our favorite memories and laugh all the more. Large families are so skilled at telling funny tales, like the time my brother was locked out of the house  and being chased by a neighbor’s dog – his knees hitting his chin with each step. Or the time my mother and sister crawled under blankets, shrieking and terrified, across the bedroom floor while my father and I tried to remove a bat with brooms…

Laughter was what got me through my personal battle with breast cancer. I could find the funny in almost any situation, from surgery experiences, to chemo, to the stares of children when I lost my hair. Children are so brave with questions. They can ask anything because they are so innocent.

Did you know that children laugh on average 300 times a day compared to adults who only laugh about 15 times a day? Laughing gives our heart and mind a good workout! It increases endorphins, helps decrease stress, burns calories, improves memory and even boosts your immune system. Laughter can even help reduce feelings of depression and create a sense of well-being. With all that, who wouldn’t want to laugh!!??

Laughing is a pretty cool thing and it’s very contagious. If you listen, around campus you can hear big belly-laughs, giggles, tee-hee’s, guffaws, snorts and even some whoops coming from the classrooms, during meal times, out on the front porch of the Lodge, at many sports activities and even during therapy sessions.

All this laughter can motivate a person and release positive energy. Our students need this in their lives…a chance to laugh, be positive and to channel their energy in a positive way. It shows them that life can be fun, full of joy and/or happiness even when their lives have had strife, sadness, loss, anxiety or bad school experiences.

As Woody Allen says, “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”

Reminding you that laughter is real and true…

Cherokee Creek Boys School is a therapeutic boarding school for middle-school boys, ages 11-15, located in Upstate South Carolina.

Beth enjoys the sounds of silence on Mooselookmegunic Lake

At the end of summer I went camping with my two sisters, niece and a friend on Mooselookmegunic Lake (yes, really!) in Northern Maine. After we arrived at our campsite, set up the tents, created our kitchen, collected firewood…we sat! It was stunningly beautiful. And it was blessedly quiet.

Gordon Hempton, an acoustic ecologist, has traveled the globe for more than twenty-five years recording the vanishing sounds of nature. He reports that the average daytime noise-free interval in our wilderness areas and national parks has shrunk to less than five minutes!

I looked at my watch. 3:40pm. Then I stretched out on the rocky beach and listened. I heard the “whoosh” of the wind through the pine trees…the lapping of the lake on the shore…the mournful call of the loons…I was thoroughly relaxed and falling asleep. Then came the ROAR. A huge jumbo jet interrupted “nature’s silence”. I looked at my watch and it was 4:30. It had been 40 minutes of bliss. We were really out in the wilds of Maine!

After a week of listening to nature’s soundtrack, I was starkly aware of how little time I spend in “nature’s silence”. The week had been restorative, as if nerves had calmed and I was in synch. As Angeles Arrien says, I was “in nature’s rhythm, which is medium to slow!”

Cherokee Creek intentionally chose the woods for our campus. Our boys hear birds when they wake up, not traffic. And their days are uninterrupted by television, loud music, cell phones, texting, video games and other technological distractions. Their free time is filled, instead, with time outdoors, play, wilderness outings, reading and quiet time. It is real and true.  Nature calms. Nature restores.

“Silence is not the absence of something but the presence of everything. When you’re in a place of natural silence, you’re not alone, and you can feel it. Whether it’s birdcalls from miles away or the proximity of a giant tree whose warm tones you can feel, there’s a presence. It’s a quieting experience.”    Gordon Hempton

In this autumn season of the Teacher – a time of letting go, introspection and stillness – I am becoming more aware of the beauty of nature and “the sounds of silence.” 

Still discovering what is real and true about the world around me…

The Cherokee Creek mission is to “challenge boys and their families to discover what is real and true about themselves and the world around them.”  Graduation is a poignant and powerful moment for everyone at Cherokee Creek… staff, students and parents. It is a time to reflect on the lessons of self-discovery that have been learned by the students and their parents.  It is a time of “honorable closure”…to say goodbye and to send blessings for the next leg of the journey.  

Alumni mom, Susan, read this message to her son, Daniel, at his graduation in August and she is allowing us to share these words with you.  They capture so well the Cherokee Creek Boys School experience from a parent’s perspective. Thank you, Susan, for demonstrating your understanding of courage, truth, love and wisdom through your strong-hearted, hope-filled and loving words to your wonderful son!

Susan reads to Daniel at his graduation

Daniel, so often in your life you have chosen the most difficult path, often thinking it was the easiest. I’ve seen you work very hard to avoid work, and in your interactions with people or just when by yourself, you often did the opposite of what was really your heart’s desire. All of this culminated in dragging you down into a vortex that was not leading to a very happy, successful ending.

We knew you needed to be removed from your old habits and ways of thinking and set into a new, healthy, healing environment.  We gave you the gift of time, of taking a time-off, to start to find out who is the authentic Daniel that God so masterfully created. We knew if you uncovered your true self and gave yourself grace, that you would start to see your own worth as well as in others, and from there you could find your goals for yourself and start to rebuild your patterns into healthy ones.

Daniel, you have worked very hard and have sacrificed so much. It was very, very hard for us to be separated from you, but at least we had each other. I frequently imagined your fear and pain in the early days at CCBS. It must have been brutal. 

Thanks to your hard work and determination and the encouragement, wisdom, and patience of everyone at CCBS, you have become the new and improved Daniel. You have the warmth, values, humor, and talent, you’ve always had, but now it’s packaged in a more confident, courageous, other-centered person. You came to CCBS as a boy, but you’re leaving as a man.

I am so proud of you and am so full of hope for your future. I see you being happy, successful in school, and sports, and hopefully growing in your relationship with God. Where I once thought of your future with worry, I am now so optimistic. 

Thank you everyone, Mike, Jane, Butch, Nick, James, Will, Yanic, Royce, Sandy, Sharon, David, and everyone else I’m forgetting. Thank you for what you have done for Daniel. You have given us a priceless gift and we will be forever grateful.

Cherokee Creek Boys School is a therapeutic boarding school for middle-school boys, ages 11-15, located in Upstate South Carolina.

Phil guides a student through a building project in the early days of Cherokee Creek

As a child my family summer vacations were spent with my relatives in a small town in east Texas, far from my home in Baltimore. I have rich memories of fun and interesting times in that environment that was very different from my city life.

I stayed in the old farm house that my grandfather built for his new bride…the house where my mother, aunts and uncles where all born, and now belonged to my uncle. The house had huge twelve foot ceilings, a through hall for ventilation and no air conditioning. As in all houses of this type, one entered and left by the screen door that closed via the spring attached to the door frame. 

Since I was a child, with my own very important agenda, I was always off like a flash throwing the screen door open to enter or leave and allowing it to slam shut by the spring. To tell you the truth, I never even noticed the “slam”, but my uncle sure did. 

After about a week of the door slamming at least a hundred times a day, his nerves worn a little thin. He finally stopped me once as I was charging into the house, and I found myself staring up at him as the door slammed shut behind me. For some reason there was a noticeable nervous twitch in his face as the door slammed. He calmly, and it seemed to me with more control than I thought necessary, told me that he wanted me to hold the door as it closed so it wouldn’t slam. That seemed easy enough to me, so I nodded and told him I would. He was finished with me so I turned to go back outside. 

Racing back outside, I was off the porch and down the stairs before the door slammed. I couldn’t be sure because, as I said, I was a child and had much more important things to think about than doors…and I sure didn’t hear anything.  However, my uncle was out the door in a flash (faster than I remembered him being able to move) with a very interesting red tint to his face. This time he spoke much, much louder….

The point is, I wasn’t “doing” anything deliberately, I was simply unaware… something I have since had the opportunity to observe in other children (including middle school boys!). In fact, these days I have taken my uncle’s role with my own kids. It is always helpful for me to have this memory, as my face gets a little red over something that my surprised child doesn’t even realize he’s done. 

Teaching awareness and sensitivity is one of the nicest gifts we can give to our children. They won’t get it right off…they’re just kids being kids…and, as in all things, the lesson will stick if we are consistent and give it time.

Cherokee Creek Boys School is a therapeutic boarding school for middle-school boys, ages 11-15, located in Upstate South Carolina.