Ben heads to graduation, mask in hand

On Friday we celebrated Ben’s graduation. As always, it was a solemn, sweet, fun and meaningful experience filled with several rituals that intentionally fill this rite of passage. One of the early actions a graduate takes during his ceremony is the burning of his mask. The mask is symbolic of the person he used to be. Like a snake leaving behind its skin, he burns the mask to represent he is no longer this person.

Ben’s graduation was filled with comments about his attention to detail. So, it is fitting that the process showcased here of creating (and destroying) a mask reflects Ben’s simple yet detailed reflection on the person he was and has grown out of. There are two short videos below. The first is of Therapist Carla Shorts applying the plaster casting to cast a mold of Ben’s face. The second is a quick slideshow of the complete journey from casting to burning.

Congratulations, Ben! We are proud of you and the hard work you have done on your journey of self-discovery!

Video of Ben’s mask being created (1:12):
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ebi2rXHd7w

Slides of the whole process (:29):
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IykzQF7bCk0

Jackson leaps into the water

An Educational Psychologist and Consultant recently wrote an article proclaiming that there is a crisis in the education of boys in this country and lamented the lack of solutions, or even movement in the direction to solve the problem system-wide. And while I agree with the strength of her facts and her solid ideas for improvement, she stumbled upon the root of her dilemma in her very last sentence: “Boys will be boys.”

The connotation behind that phrase isn’t pretty. It conjures up the idea that boys’ behavior is meant to cause eye rolling, be winked at, or, at its very best, be tolerated with patience. She hinted that boys are all action without purpose – missing out on their warrior DNA’s need to hunt wild game and provide for the family – and that with a few more recess breaks in their academic day, they might be able to make it through the system that is no longer designed for them. What an opportunity she has missed as the mother of just one little girl!

How fortunate I feel to head up the academics of a school whose foundation is based upon the one word that makes all the difference in the world: CAN. Cherokee Creek Boys School is a school where Boys CAN Be Boys. We excel in embracing their boy-ness, encouraging their growth to young adult men, and celebrating their many masculine qualities within. We believe their day should look a lot different simply because they ARE different – and we strive to give them opportunity to just BE boys. I have thus far enjoyed the opportunities to play in the creek, leap at tetherball, and dig in the dirt with my students. I’ve attended Tae Kwon Do class and heard about football, basketball and soccer practice. And I’ve just sent off for a class car model to do one day with them. Being a boy is tons of fun!

The author’s ideas included, “Simple changes to the pace and tempo of the school day,” such as brief recesses, devoting more time to physical education, and more hands-on activities. She pushed for, “Harnessing male energy in more positive ways.” It’s as if she read our schedule and made a wish list of a fantasy school to which she could send a boy. Simple changes since March – which included shortening class periods, having Physical Education BEFORE other classes begin (an idea we borrowed from the book Spark by John Raty and reviewed here by CCBS founder Beth Black), and rearranging classrooms to talk WITH rather than to be lectured AT – have given us a remarkable classroom behavior improvement.

It’s not enough to tell you these things  through my eyes as Academic Dean. But the story of a young man who was struggling mightily with his behavior prior to the changes is just one of our tales of success. In just a few months – despite an Aspergers Syndrome diagnosis and some very miserable years in other schools – he has become a leader for his group, interviewed at a very elite private school, and become one of our very best tour leaders here on campus. He has found success in the classroom and can be overheard mentoring other students. He will graduate in a few weeks  – off to attend the school where he nailed his interview with his head held high, shaking the Dean’s hand. We are so very proud of him and the light he shines upon our small school with a big heart…where boys CAN be boys!

Twice a year at Cherokee Creek Boys School, about 10 families get together for a very different experience. They come together for 4 days of adventure, fellowship, family time, peace, fun…and a little bit of chocolate mixed with marshmallow mixed with graham cracker.

The outomes of the experience are like ripples on the water. They pulse outward extending far beyond 4 days of activities. Our May Family Trek just wrapped up a couple of weeks ago and a couple of unexpected ripples have made their way back to us. One of our dads, Jack, sent a link to his blog post inspired by the event (provided below).  Jack gives a wonderful perspective as a parent navigating through the experience of parenting a son at a therapeutic boarding school. And Oconee State Park, where the event is based, sent a thank you note for food donated at the end of the trip. The note was signed by all of the members of the prison work crew the food helped to feed in the days following the Family Trek.

You can see from the video below that, most importantly, our Trek family had a great experience filled with Love, Courage, Truth and Wisdom.

Stay-at-Home Dad: Kudzu

Slideshow of highlights:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYlqXlqW4rQ

Academic Dean Denise Savidge

This past Monday, Language Arts dovetailed with Current Events and History as the news of the death of Osama Bin Laden became the topic of the day. Most of the boys here at CCBS were 2-4 years old when 9/11 occurred, too young to remember the event itself and to experience the shockwave of emotions that overtook the nation at the time. But many knew someone who was affected by the tragedy in some way and had very strong opinions on it.

The natural reaction expected from the boys was received: the, “justice was served,” “he got what he had coming,” and “I’m glad he’s dead,” comments were numerous. But then the discussion went another way…the boys researched and viewed the celebrations that were held near the White House and in Times Square. They read the backstory of the Navy Seal operation and the history of Al Qaeda ad Bin Laden himself. They heard of the woman who lost her life as a human shield for a terrorist. All the appropriate news sources were fair game for digging in and finding the story without YouTube assistance.

The boys were then asked to rethink the situation and decide how the celebrations fit with their own personal values and the values expressed in our Lessons of the Medicine Wheel: How did the people involved show Love, Truth, Courage and Wisdom? Were they behaving as Visionaries, Warriors, Teachers and Healers?

Their words are inspiring:

We need our leaders to tell the truth without blame or judgement. We also need our leaders to be insightful to see what the terrorists could be thinking before they do it. We need the people to be healers. We need to be loving and lovable…we need to shine the way when all other lights go out. To our country’s thinkers, they need to be wise and trust that we’ll find the way and be flexible to whatever could happen. We can make this country stronger than it has ever been before. -AB

I think the celebration of the death of Bin Laden does not fit well with any of the four levels of CCBS. I think (that) solemnity would fit more. With the Visionary you are supposed to accept his death. For Teacher…you are supposed to be trusting. Therefore, you can trust the US Military and all of our armed forces. Healer would be most relevant because you are supposed to be forgiving, therefore forgive what he has done even though it would be really hard because of everything he has done. -SD

They (the people celebrating) are not being Teachers, because if we are celebrating someone dying, what are we teaching a kid and everyone that looks up to us? -MH

Each of us has our opinion about the recent events surrounding Bin Laden’s death. The exercise was not meant to bias our students one way or another, but to offer an opportunity for them to think for themselves, to examine this story through a different lens and to apply their understanding of the medicine wheel to a world event. I was impressed by the seriousness they brought to the assignment…and look forward to watching these bright young men continue to grow!

Academic Dean Denise Savidge

I’m the “new teacher” at Cherokee Creek. With a bit of trepidation and excitement, I set forth to get to know my students and discover what motivates them to perform.

Motivation…It means many different things to everyone. What works as a motivator for one person is of no interest to another. Some folks are self-motivated, others need the carrot on the stick just outside of their reach to keep moving forward. To some it’s money, to some it’s power, to some it’s prestige. Others haven’t given it a thought because their motivation is just the desire to do something well because it’s the right thing to do.

Most teachers teach just to see a child smile. To make a child’s life easier. To make a difference. Plus it’s pretty comical stuff on any given day, and teachers like to laugh. And middle-school boys keep a scorecard on how many others they can amuse in one day.

In class the other day, I handed the boys a motivation checklist. I really wanted to know what was going to make them produce…What would help them do their best…Which carrot smelled the most delicious to an adolecsent boy. Silly me. They’re not about to let that nut get cracked by simply asking. No, this was an opportunity to ignore the multiple choice answers and make it a fill-in-the-blank adventure. It was a perfect occasion to amuse  and entertain the new teacher. The multiple choice answers focussed on peer praise, prizes, prestige or public recognition. But ours are not fill-in-the-bubble boys. They quickly unraveled the code of answers and decided they had better ideas:

Q – If you really did well on your science project, what would you prefer the teacher do?
A – Keep Quiet!
Q – You are on a roller coaster and a photographer from a newspaper takes your picture. It appears on the front page the next day. What do you do?
A – Sue the newspaper company.
Q – What do you like best about your birthday?
A – That the Good Lord has given me another year.
Q – If you found a $10 bill on the playground and turned it in to the school office, what would you want the principal to do?
A – Give it to ME!

Pity the teacher who asks our students to answer within the box. They’re innovative, creative, amusing and charming young men. It’s been a delightful ride to get to know them.

When are you a teacher and why do you teach? Do you know what motivates the different members of your family? Do they know what motivates you?

Phil works with an early CCBS student on a building project

“I hate you.  I’m going to run away.” That was my son at 7 years of age – willful and independent – pretty typical, I know, but then I added, “Good. I’ll help you pack.” I stood there while my son stuffed his red Elmo stuffed toy and other essentials into his small daypack and headed for the door. I was slightly amused, but also amazed and ashamed that this little powerhouse of energy was able to put me in that emotional spot so easily.

In another instant I was remembering myself as a child that age and shouting that same thing to my parents, righteously justified and utterly convinced of the injustice of my life. I also remembered the blessing uttered by parents and grandparents everywhere, “May you get one just like you.”

I often find that the universe has a sense of humor – like a perpetual April Fool’s Day.

I love my parents completely and unconditionally…a gift from the universe that was hard wired into me at birth. However, the deep love and fierce sense of protection I feel for my son is a gift from him. There is just no way I could have reached that level of emotion and devotion on my own. I needed the help of another soul, one who at times is helpless, at times is independent, but is almost always a true reflection of myself.

At Cherokee Creek Boys School, the small school with the big heart, we are entering the Visionary aspect of our Lessons of the Medicine Wheel; a time when we emphasize Truth and the lesson, “Tell the Truth without Blame or Judgement.”

For me, truth is always mixed with a little humor. And the truth is that the love we feel for our children can make fools of us all. Learning to laugh at ourselves and see our own reflection in our children is a real and true gift.

Happy April Fool’s Day

Nick Linscott, CCBS Math and Science Teacher

You remember your favorite teachers forever. They inspire, provoke, challenge and celebrate your abilities. Under their influence you thrive; your possibilities expand.

Imagine if you were asked to nominate a teacher for the coveted “Golden Apple” award for teaching excellence. How would you persuade the voters that your candidate was the best?

This is exactly what Academic Dean and Language Arts Teacher Denise Savidge recently asked students to do in an assignment tackling the persuasive essay. Many of our students responded with essays about Cherokee Creek Math and Science Teacher Nick Linscott (LEGO League Coach extraordinaire!). Nick has been a valued member of the CCBS team for over 7 years and is loved for his unique style.

Excerpts from students’ essays are below:

“I feel that Nick Linscott deserves the Golden Apple. He helps us learn when we need to. He is assertive in the way that he talks and tells us directly what he wants us to do.

Nick helps me learn more math than I already know. I can trust that he will help me when ever I might need it. He is very intelligent and can answer almost all the questions I can think of. When I am confused with something I can ask him and he will explain it to me in amazingly accurate detail.” – Anonymous

“Nick is loving ans caring. I like his personality. I also believe that if I work with him, he works with me so in turn I am very appreciative of him.” – Alec

“Nick is an exceptional teacher because he helped me go from 6th grade to Algebra 1 in one year. He taught me physical science and biomedical science. He is helping me learn today in science.

Nick is a good friend that I can trust about anything. I can talk to him and he will listen to me.” – Jon

What are the common denominators of great teachers? Looking at the boys’ responses, it appears they recognize that teaching is only part of the equation.

Nick Linscott definitely deserves a Golden Apple! He is a talented and effective teacher. His caring and compassion are appreciated by staff and students alike, and that adds up to an inspiring educator.

Nick often repeats the words of wisdom given to him by his mother, “To get a friend, you have to be a friend.” Golden words to live by.

Therein lies the difference between a good teacher and a “Golden Apple” recipient.

As we contemplate what is “real and true”: What kind of teacher are you? Who have been your greatest teachers? What made them great?

David celebrates a student's graduation.

If there’s one things that’s predictable, it’s that things are going to change. And when a change occurs, there is often a transition that follows!

Another predictable thing is that changes create a time in between the ending of the old and the beginning of the new. Cherokee Creek Boys School calls this space a “neutral zone,” a name adopted from William Bridges work on the process of transitions.

We have all felt the “neutral zone.” It can be exciting or confusing. It can feel like chaos or be filled with anticipation. Whatever the feelings are, they are stronger than when things are just routine or predictable. I am a creature of habit as much as anyone, and those feelings that are associated with change sure can make me uncomfortable.

The question I hear (and sometimes ask myself) is: How can I get out of the neutral zone and into the new way of being? Another way of asking this question could be: How can I get past all of these uncomfortable and magnified feelings quickly?

Since change is happening all the time, chances are that you are in a neutral zone in some area of your life right now. What are you being challenged with in the neutral zone? Here are a few questions you can ask to help turn the neutral zone into a place of self-discovery…

What must I put down in order to move forward?

What point of view is shifting?

What is it that I believed that no longer fits me?

Before we are in a rush to the new place, let’s see what can be learned while we are in the neutral zone!

“Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine.” – Robert C. Gallagher

Women of Courage: CCBS Founder Beth Black, CCBS Manager of Clinical Services Jane Barker and 8 wonderful ladies who participated in this the innaugural Women of Courage retreat.

My dear friend Rick Stone wrote a wonderful book called The Healing Art of Storytelling. In it he says, “Telling a story, especially about ourselves, may be one of the most personal and intimate things we can do. Through storytelling we can come to know who we are in new and unforeseen ways. We can also reveal to others what is deepest in our hearts, and in the process, build bridges.” And when women gather in healing circles to tell their stories, extraordinary things happen!

In early February, 8 amazing Cherokee Creek Boys School moms gathered from around the country to attend “Women of Courage,” a retreat I hosted with Jane Barker, Manager of Clinical Services at CCBS. For two and a half days we read, wrote, talked, laughed, cried and ate great food (thanks to Beth Venable). We wove our stories into a beautiful “blanket of support,” creating a safe environment to share the vulnerable and authentic parts of our lives. We discovered, challenged assumptions, shed unnecessary burdens and made new commitments. And we laughed…a lot!

We began our retreat with a Rumi poem:

A Community of Spirit

There is a community of the spirit.
Join it, and feel the delight
of walking in the noisy street,
and being the noise.

Drink all your passion,
and be a disgrace.

Close both eyes
to see with the other eye.

Open your hands,
If you want to be held.

Sit down in this circle

Our CCBS Medicine Wheel places Courage in the position of the Warrior and challenges us to, “Show up and be present.” The ten of us showed up fully with delight, passion and maybe even a bit of disgrace! We did, indeed, create a community of spirit. With courage, we opened our hands and arms to one another and sat in a circle of new friends.

Dylan (left) charges forward, while Jon provides coverage

Sunday night, my husband and I toured the online blizzard of weather related warnings, watches and apocalyptic premonitions. After a few minutes he turned to me and asked, “Remember when snow was fun?”

Granted, we did receive a ton of snow. Much more than is normal for Upstate South Carolina and most of the warnings were very much warranted. But on Monday morning as I arrived on campus after a long and difficult drive, my shoulders relaxed and a single thought came forward – “Snow Day!”

I made my way from room to room reminding the boys to dress in layers, wear boots, hats and rain gear. In their minds, I knew, were visions of snow play, snowmen, snow angels and, best of all, a snow ball fight.

Middle schoolers so often sway between gleeful childhood and the beginnings of more solemn adult-like maturity. It is what makes them the most fun and interesting age group to work with. Often, our CCBS students arrive having forgotten…or somehow deficient in…the art of real childhood play. We provide dozens of opportunities for boys to be playful, learn new games, and remember old ones – in short, we provide a place where boys can be boys!

The Healer reminds us of the power of fun, play and joy! And there is nothing more joyful than a giant snowfall followed by a snowball fight…nothing…except maybe the hot chocolate afterward!

Cherokee Creek Boys School is a therapeutic boarding school for middle-school boys, ages 11-15, located in Upstate South Carolina.